In Memory

Jay Stanley






 
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04/03/16 08:17 AM #1    

Barbara Scott (Rose)

I met Jay in Mrs. Johnston's Ball Room Dance class in sixth grade.  When he asked me to dance my heart skipped a beat and it was love at first sight!!  Several dance classes later I mustered up the courage to tell him "I really like you" and he responded with "I really like you too".  I was so smitten that I shamelessly invited myself to Dale Brown's house so that I could ride on the same school bus as Jay...Dale lived on his street.  I found out just recently from Dale on Facebook that I wasn't the only girl to do that.  When summer vacation ended and I ran into Jay at Saxe Junior high my heart still skipped a beat but he had already moved on to someone else.  I was heartbroken!  Then in high school Jay and Libby Dunne began dating and Lib was one of my closest friends.  Because of their relationship I saw Jay regularly and a warm friendship developed.  As a bonus, Jay and Bill Schaefer were best friends and I had a huge crush on Bill who lived around the corner from my house.  Jay and Bill would stop by frequently and on a balmy, Spring afternoon they dropped in after school.  We were just hanging out when the boys disappeared and then reappeared about 10 minutes later wearing my kilts.  We couldn't stop laughing but I had the good sense to grab my camera and take pictures.  Unfortunately, the quality is very poor but the fact that I still have them 53 years later highlights how much that moment meant to me.  Jay was a warm, kind, thoughtful and funny guy and a true gem...not to mention so handsome!  I was devastated when I heard he died at a young 52.  There is no doubt in my mind that if Jay were still with us and were to attend our 50th reunion this September that my heart would still skip a beat. 


04/04/16 09:51 AM #2    

Libby Dunne (Rubin)

     

I’m not sure I can find the language to describe Jay on behalf of many of us who knew and loved him:  The first thing that comes to mind is his wonderful sense of humor, his quick wit and practical jokes that always made people smile or laugh, especially during difficult times…. a Comic Relief of sorts….And Jay, himself,  had a great belly laugh!

               Jay was kind and generous.  He was caring and loyal, a good friend to many.  I met Jay at a sophomore “sock hop” and like Barb, my heart skipped a beat.  I couldn’t believe that someone so “cool” could possibly be interested in me!  I would tell people later in my life that I dated my high school boyfriend for 8 years!!  Though he spent a few years in the army in South Korea while I was at UCONN, we never really lost touch and no matter whom I dated during that time, I could not give up on that relationship.  He was my first love.  When I heard about Jay’s passing, I was saddened; such a loss to all, especially his family, his sister Connie and his brother Smitty.  It was difficult to believe that not many of us even knew about his dying until recently.  That made me even sadder. 

He will certainly be missed at the 50th.  I know he would make all of us smile! 

 


04/05/16 05:05 PM #3    

Norm Sweeters

I got to know Jay at one of the street dances in town when we were probably in Jr. High, and I liked him right away. We'd known of each other before then but didn't really "know" each other. Although we did not pal around all that much over the years, whenever we got together it was always a good time with lots of laughs. Some people actually took us for brothers! I think what I liked most about Jay was he put you at ease and respected his friends. I admired him a great deal for that. I wish I could see him again at the reunion.


04/05/16 05:57 PM #4    

Gay Murphy (Meyer)

I have often wondered about Jay's where abouts

I met Jay in fourth grade at South School and instantly 

Drawn to his devilish smile.  Tom Paris , Jay, myself and Judy 

Clarke took off through the woods to Lapmans Tower 

When we returned we told our teacher it was Spring 

Fever that made us do it 

To a lovely guy you will be missed  Gay

 

 

 


05/23/16 08:04 PM #5    

Libby Dunne (Rubin)

Jay's younger sister, Connie Stanley Vickery, recently shared with me a sweet memory of Jay when their family first moved to New Canaan:
 
 
"He was such a loving and compassionate boy.  Two years after that photo was taken we drove to New Canaan through torrential downpours.  I had the measles and spent the trip lying down on the back seat.  Mother went in with the movers to set up a bed for me after ordering us to stay in the car.  Jay knew how miserable I felt.  As soon as Mother was inside Jay flew out of the car.  A while later he returned with a girl in tow.  Smiling broadly he said, "Connie, Connie!  I found you a new friend to make you feel better!"  We learned later that Jay had run up and down the street, knocking on doors and asking the mothers if they had a girl, bringing home to me the first one he found.  It's just one of many times he touched me with his sweetness."

05/28/16 03:59 PM #6    

Libby Dunne (Rubin)

One more memory from Jay's sister, Connie:    "Three days before Jay died our other brother was helping him into the bathroom, standing behind him and holding him up around the waist.  Jay's wife was walking closely behind.  When he was done, everyone assembled in the same order to help Jay back to his bedroom.  Halfway there Jay stopped, looked behind him with a wry smile, saying, "This is quite a conga line we have here." Proof that we are fully ourselves until the very end."  

 

 

 

 


06/08/16 03:01 PM #7    

Mike Mimnaugh

I met Jay during the 4th grade at South School - - he had just moved to NC and within a half mile of my house.  Along with Grady (also a nearby neighbor) we viewed ourselves as "The Kings of Mischief" constantly discovering ways in which to create havoc - - in a good natured way.

My family left NC in 1962 for 3 years, and upon returning I recall Jay and Libby warmly welcoming Richie and me into their circle of friends. 

Now almost 10 years ago Toby (Jay's brother-in-law and NCHS '67) informed me of Jay's passing.  Naturally at first I felt sadness; however, almost instantly my heart lifted as I reflected on the special ways in which Jay touched us all - - it was his gift to us.

To a genuine friend.  You are missed.     Mike Mimnaugh


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